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I find in deep repose
Nature, solace for my soul
I tame my fear and woes -
In wildness.
Hazy day -
The lake in mist.
Ducks bobbing up
Squirrels digging down
I'm looking out -
In a fog today.
My pain is mine alone
A perfect portrait of me
The beautiful illusion
I think I ought to be.
Each time I cross a line
Or smear a boundary
I wince as burned with flame -
The pain of who I think I ought to be
Not like other creatures
That take no forethought ahead
Instead, I often dread
The illusion of what I think might be -
Some unrealized tragedy.
This pessimistic pondering
Casts dark shadows in me.
The great adventure -
Almost spent
Still, much place and time to see
Things still unseen
And songs unsung.
My great urge to go, to do -
One more exotic place
Another ancient artifact.
To go abide in alien lands
With brothers, sisters of the earth
Primitive or urbane, still the same,
Sans poverty and dust.
To climb the hill, reach the peak
And see a higher hill to climb
To follow archaic instincts
And live as birds and animals.
Tomorrow never came
Always today remained
-The same old pain-
My troubled thoughts again.
These are golden years
The best of times has come.
I put off things 'til now
Doing work, best left undone.
Now I have money
With a chance to play
Or write poetic soliloquy
And take a walk each day.
I can trek to other places
And oftentimes I do.
But the constancy of my life
Is being here, or there, with you.
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